• allan

Life Changing (Dog Blog)

Updated: Oct 2

Everyone asks...... has your life changed during lock down. Well it definitely has. So you ask, have you found your inner self....have you found out the meaning to life.....No we have a dog. I did mention this in my last blog but the whole gravity of the situation hadn't sunk in. I remember the day so well when we decided to get the dog. I said ,yes lets do it, I mean it's not going to change our life .... it will just fit in with us. I saw a little smile appear on my wife's face and I remember seeing the same smile 30 years ago when she told me she was pregnant, and I said wonderful but it's not going to change our life......same smile. This little puppy with big adoring eyes has totally taken over our lives. First of all we have bought every toy and dog accessory known to man. We are on first name terms with the Amazon delivery man. We have been invited to the staff dance. He has teddies, doggies, bones, rope with a bell with a squeaker balls, anything that he can chew on.....he ignores them and eats the carpet. It's like watch a knitted jumper unravel as he finds the end of the carpet and pulls. He has a cage which he sleeps in perfectly. He has a day pen which he demolished in the first two weeks. He has treats and biscuits and chews and high value treats. He has anything a dog could want. Jane and I decided it was a shared dog. So she got the half that licks her face affectionately and I got the half that shits. Jane gets up early anyway so she was happy to get up with him every morning. She was up at 6. She took him out and toilet trained him and fed him and played with him and by the time I got up at 9 they were sitting contentedly watch GMB. By the end of the first week as I walked in I could hear him say.....'She's mine now' and that's the way it has stayed. I'm basically just the lodger. The man who he bites when he gets tired. I look like I'm self harming with cuts all over my arms and legs. I found myself standing on chair as he growled round my legs trying to draw blood. I watched an American show called the dog whisperer, where this genius controlled the dog which was biting it's owner in 10 minutes. I became the dog whisperer the other day.....while he was sleeping I lay beside him and lifted his little ear and whispered....'if you don't stop biting me I'm having your fucking teeth removed' didn't work



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© 2019 Allan Stewart