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  • allan

Everyone asks...... has your life changed during lock down. Well it definitely has. So you ask, have you found your inner self....have you found out the meaning to life.....No we have a dog. I did mention this in my last blog but the whole gravity of the situation hadn't sunk in. I remember the day so well when we decided to get the dog. I said ,yes lets do it, I mean it's not going to change our life .... it will just fit in with us. I saw a little smile appear on my wife's face and I remember seeing the same smile 30 years ago when she told me she was pregnant, and I said wonderful but it's not going to change our life......same smile. This little puppy with big adoring eyes has totally taken over our lives. First of all we have bought every toy and dog accessory known to man. We are on first name terms with the Amazon delivery man. We have been invited to the staff dance. He has teddies, doggies, bones, rope with a bell with a squeaker balls, anything that he can chew on.....he ignores them and eats the carpet. It's like watch a knitted jumper unravel as he finds the end of the carpet and pulls. He has a cage which he sleeps in perfectly. He has a day pen which he demolished in the first two weeks. He has treats and biscuits and chews and high value treats. He has anything a dog could want. Jane and I decided it was a shared dog. So she got the half that licks her face affectionately and I got the half that shits. Jane gets up early anyway so she was happy to get up with him every morning. She was up at 6. She took him out and toilet trained him and fed him and played with him and by the time I got up at 9 they were sitting contentedly watch GMB. By the end of the first week as I walked in I could hear him say.....'She's mine now' and that's the way it has stayed. I'm basically just the lodger. The man who he bites when he gets tired. I look like I'm self harming with cuts all over my arms and legs. I found myself standing on chair as he growled round my legs trying to draw blood. I watched an American show called the dog whisperer, where this genius controlled the dog which was biting it's owner in 10 minutes. I became the dog whisperer the other day.....while he was sleeping I lay beside him and lifted his little ear and whispered....'if you don't stop biting me I'm having your fucking teeth removed'.......it didn't work

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  • allan

So....... That's the question on everyone's lips.....What is happening about panto. Well, know one knows, which is pretty much they same about everything that is going on in the world at the moment. Know one knows. However, a bit like how everyone thinks they know how to manage a football team and scream about the manager (incidentally I know nutting about football, remember the actor in the that strange German prison camp who said 'I know nutting' ) I digress.....Anyway I feel that everyone has an opinion about how the government should be doing it. Just remember no-one knows anything. The government are new to the whole problem and I believe are trying their best. Yes they have made mistakes but it was uncharted waters. Right I'm not getting into political stuff. I joined Twitter a couple of months ago, because I was pushing my 'captain Tom' video and everyone said I should be on there. I have always resisted that part of social media as I have heard so many horrible things about it. Well I think I have written 3 posts in two months. It's a horrible place and I don't want to read or be read by anonymous twats.

The other question that is always being asked is, has the lock down changed you. Well it has in some respects. I'm completely content in my own little family circle. 3 months of my wife and children's company has been lovely. I do miss restaurants and I really miss working and not having a purpose to my days, but all in all I haven't missed anything else. Jane and I are very happy with each other and the kids have been fantastic. Watching David's career taking off is every exciting and Kate has now got a new New York Manager who is perfect for her. The dog.....Harry Stewart, is a dream and it's like having a child all over again. Jane once again is doing an amazing job. I'm happy to wind him up but Jane knows just how to train him. We are loving it. So all in all if we can at least get panto back on I'll be very happy. August seems to be the cut off point so watch this ............

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  • allan

When this all started I said.....right, the perfect situation to do all the things I've wanted to do and haven't done......12 weeks on, still haven't done them. I cant believe that I am always tired. I'm sleeping better than I have for 20 years and still I wake up as if I have a hangover ......and I haven't had a drink the night before. Very nannoying as Andy used to say in Panto....panto what's that. So as I write, still no word on whether the panto will go ahead. I'm still very positive but I do realise that there will come a cut off point not too far away where it will be physically impossible to organise a panto of our standard. I can only hope. I must say that the first 8 weeks of the lockdown were easier than the second few weeks. I have a theory and that is that when I work the adrenalin pumps through my veins and it obviously has a good affect on me. So consequently with no adrenalin I'm getting lethargic and less motivated. Sad, because I know all the acts are going through the same feeling. The 'boys' and I use the term loosely (Andy Grant Pix and Jordan) all meet up on Zoom every Thursday and we have a couple of hours chatting and laughing. It is great fun and knowing that Andy is on shielding and total self isolating, it's a big night for him. We were screaming with laughter last week when we showed each other the items we had bought on line during lock down. Andy's Cherokee plastic jacket was the winner though. Grant's over the shoulder holster for his little things was a close second. My non slip socks got a great laugh as well as I explained that I believed the video that showed a man being pulled by his sox across a street and they didn't 't come off......they fucking did when I tried them. Three seconds and they were crumpled in my shoe.

Our wee dug Harry is a dream. Although I look like I'm a self harmer with lots of cuts on my arms. He cant half bite. He has done so well though. 80% potty trained in the first 10 days. He starts with a trainer tomorrow so let's hope he can stop him biting. The kids are a lot better now that lockdown is easing and we are all feeling that life is getting back to normalish. However no sign of ships this year. I never thought I'd have a gap year at my age. Ok look after yourself and keep going.

Bye

© 2019 Allan Stewart