• allan

Well....the dreaded deed has been done. The snip. His humpiness had been growing by the day. Other dogs, Jane, me. Mind you it's so long since anyone has looked at me it that way, I took it as a compliment. That wasn't the final straw though (not plastic) While Jane was walking him his 20 miles 3 hours a day, he caught the scent of a woman (good title for a film) and ran off. He disappeared out of sight and at one point Jane thought he had run onto the street. Fortunately he hadn't and she eventually caught up with him. Anyway his fate was sealed. 'Off with them' she said.

So one wet miserable November day we walked Harry to the new vet. He looked so happy, obviously not realising his reason for living was about to be ended. He sat on the vet's table and was fine till he put the stethoscope on him. Maybe it was cold, I don't know, but he turned on him, with an angry growl. The vet was quick to move and said he would be fine. We left him and went back home. We felt the same way as when we left David at boarding school. The difference was David didn't have his balls cut off, although Mr Ryan Tutt nearly did on a few occasions. What a horrible little trumpet playing teacher twat Tutt was. He mocked David and his musical ambitions every chance he got.......well who has the last laugh now Tutt.

Where was I ....Oh yes snip. We went back to pick him up about 4 and as we sat in the waiting room we could here him howling.....nae..... wailing from his cage. I wondered if the vet would give us his testicles in a jar, you know how they sometimes give you your gall stones. Anyway I didn't really want them, truth be known. So off we went, with cone of shame round his little neck. He looked so sad. He slept quite a bit but didn't seem to be any different. HIs bark wasn't higher or he didn't walk with lisp. He was normal. Still biting me at every oporchancity. (a little Francie and Josie word there) He seemed to be fine and actually managed to cope quite well with the cone. Jane was the stitches checker and while studying that area she noticed this little willie was wet looking. It was red and didn't look quite right. So back to his favourite vet he went. Yes it seemed to be a little infection. So the cone had to stay on longer and he was given some cream to massage into his appendage. He's a quick learner and Jane noticed that he sat very still and seemed to have a slight smile on his face as she rubbed it in. I said well if you rubbed cream into my willie I would probably act the same way.

On that note I shall leave doggy bloggy and carry on with my slow cooked lamb.


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  • allan

'There's the sun the moon and Harry, Harry is his name.....that was a song I loved from the 70's from Catherine Howe. Not the only reason we called our Cockapoo Harry but one of them. The other one was that was Jane's grandfather's name and when we saw him (the puppy) we knew he looked like a Harry. Anyway how is the little shi....sorry doggy. He's doing fine although the other night he started coughing .....a new cough. Oh not the dug has covid 19 I said, and promptly googled can dogs get covid and the answer was yes. But I'm glad to say the vet said it was kind of dog flu and he would probably get over it without medication. That's the other thing, you pay £600 for pet insurance and nothing is insured.....which is pretty typical of insurances. They can always find a way out of paying. Anyway talking of vets Harry didn't like him and showed his teeth and growled whenever he cam near him. I suppose he'd heard us talking about cutting his balls off (the dog, not the vet) and was a bit scared of him. I would be as well. Actually I think the worst part of the ball chopping is everyone knowing what has happened, as you walk down the street with that fucking big plastic cone round your head. They do make a soft one but it's not as effective. I'm sure Jane will probably get one for herself just so that her little child doesn't feel different.

We have decided to hold off on the chopping till he humps everything in sight rather than just every other thing in sight. Funnily the biting has kind of started up again although not to the extent of before...... ie scars all over my body.....nobody else's, just mine. I may sound that I don't like Harry but I promise you it's for comedy effect. I miss him when he goes to the office with Jane and I'm left in the house on my own. I had a walking break through the other night and he allowed me to take him for his last drag and wee wee of the night. However now that he sleeps some the time on our bed I have to say he lies with his face next to Jane but the rest of the time he lies with his arse in my face. I say he does it deliberately but Jane says no. We are going away for a couple of days for Jane's birthday and of course it's to a dog friendly not the Premier Inn, I've found another one that takes 'well behaved dogs' That's Harry. He is incredibly well behaved for a 7 month old puppy....well so every one tells us. We have heard horror stories about other puppies so I suppose we are lucky. Oh well here's to the next doggy bloggy.


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  • allan

I received a lovely compliment from the well know journalist Gavin Doc Docherty. He phoned to say he enjoyed my blog about my cockapoo Harry.....sorry my wife Jane's cockapoo. Because as I intimated before I'm not really rated in Harry's life.....I'm just the lodger. The other night as Jane was in bed I went to the loo. when I came back Harry was actually lieying with his head on my pillow like it was his bed. and,......he wouldn't move. Jane and I have had couple of little tiffs.....I say he's a dog......a DOG....... but Jane thinks of him as a child......a CHILD. I love him and if no one else is in, he loves me, which is one consolation I suppose. So if covid gets everyone except me and Harry, I'll be alright. He is very intelligent and has us totally wrapped round his little paw. Fortunately he has stopped biting me because his little razor sharp teeth have gone.....I didn't knock them out, honestly, but they do fall out about 5 months and new little razor sharp teeth come in. But for some reason they don't bite as much. Thank God as I would have needed a blood transfusion if he'd kept on slicing into me. Jane walks him twice a day. You ask why not me.? Well it's because he wont go with me. (every cloud has a silver .....) Jane went into a shop the other day and I said I'll just walk back home with him. He wouldn't budge. I carried him....I dragged him and about 10 meters from the house he started to walk. If Jane goes to the loo he greets her like he hasn't seen her for months. Me......he just looks at me like I'm a piece of cheese. He is wonderful though. I cant imaging the house without him. We now talk to everyone in London. Same questions.....ooooh he's lovely how old....ooooh he's big ......what' his name......I'm not the most sociable of people and not very good with small talk so I find myself walking on as Jane goes through the same routine. It's funny how when you first get the little puppy everything is new to your life.....Oh look he's getting up the stairs now.....oh look he can get up on the couch on his own.....oh look he's dragging arse along the carpet......why do they do that. He also has started humping everything in site, boy dogs ...girl dogs .....legs. They say he will need the snip at about 8 months. As a male I feel terrible about that though. Can you imagine if humans had the same life problems. You just get into long trousers and the girls are eying you up.....and dad says ok son, off the doctors for you.....snip snip and Bob's your aunty. But it will have to be done. Another grand to be spent. I wonder if it will change his lovely would fucking change mine. Oh well till the next time.


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